James’ mother worked in a hospital and eventually she married a fireman. However, this marriage did not last long. I believe that James’ mother was not looking for love, but for a man who fulfilled the role of husband and father. She wanted the best for her children, but she didn’t know how to do it, so she outsourced pursue for happiness in relationships that were destructive without an exception. (27)
James and his sister were typical teenager with typical teenager dreams. His sister was dreaming about being catwalk model or working in the TV/movie industry, but unfortunately, they did not have the support of their family. However, James grandmother suggested to take another approach. She encouraged him to be helper at a golf course in order to get close to rich people and get along with them. The urge in him to help his family made him think about reaching bolder goals. (45)
College would be a great option, but at that moment James had no hope that he would be able to get accepted into college. His school year was not one of the bests. He did the SAT exam, even if he believed he was not ready to start his journey. This is a great example of how we can change our future by trying, even if the chances are minimal, but we still need to try. I remember my first SAT. It was one of the most challenging moments of my life, mainly because English is not my first language. But it gave me motivation to study more and achieve the goal of studying at an international university. (91)
After September 11, James started to think about joining to the army. His family disagreed. He sister relied on him for taking care of her three kids. His grandmother was also against this idea because she needed him to take care of her and the family. However, serving as a marine would be more convenient for him because the army provided housing, salary, food and health plan. Such benefits for a person without privileges would be perfect and by choosing this he finally could help his grandparents and his family more. (77)
Many young people abolish building a future as they must take care of their families and thus end up destroying an outlook that possibly would help to change the lives of everyone. They decide to pursue a military career to help them have a better life and escape the reality of their home. James believed that serving in the army will be able to open a lot of opportunities. This idea made him join eventually.
It seems he convinced his family too. They always sent him letters when he was on duty. It made him think about how much his family loved him and missed him. He started to play poker online to make even more money, as the money he earned in the army was not enough to help his family. This was not only enough for his grandmother’s health plan, but to help the rest of the family too. (77)
This is the reality for many other families, having to work 2 or 3 jobs still short to pay all expenses, so they must send their children away to make ends meet. Many people end up with their health impaired by doing this routine, but sadly they do not have any other solution.
While James was in the army, he learned many things, like not being lazy, having and making the right choices and mainly how to be a good citizen for the country. Unfortunately, while he was still serving, his grandmother passed away. He was shaken, almost completely devastated. An event like this can mentally disrupt the progression of the life for young person who begins to see hope in life a little better. Many young people leave everything and go back to their old life that is without ideals or dreams. Mental health is very important, without it we can hardly endure the hardship of life. (81)
When I was about 25 years old my grandmother passed away. She was my best friend and she made me the person who I am today. I felt alone and unmotivated and it felt it would be long way to recover myself. I think she would be proud of me, if she were alive, because she was the only person who anticipated a good future for me. Grandparents are angels that God placed in our lives.
James believes that taking care of ourselves is our responsibility. In chapter 9 he said that some people don’t have the work ethic, like they tend to steal things from their workplace or take 30 minutes breaks because they are “tired”. According to James this is not a good way to be a citizen. So why do we blame the government if we create our own problems?
I somewhat agree with the author about this. The people should make better decisions in life and stop complaining. I believe that we all should be part of building a better world. The government is not responsible for our actions or choices. This idea seems a little conservative, but I prefer to believe this would be ideal. However the government must do its part when it comes to certain issues, like despite the republican’s health care is something that state should be controlled and giving more free services for the entire population.
Another area when the private sector needs some intervention is education. James had an interesting idea that the community college is fast, cheap and you will have a degree. I find this idea commendable. Many adults, who are already work, want to do higher education but do not have time or money. What options do they have? (69)
Getting in universities, especially more popular ones is hard. If your family has not had the funds to donate a hefty amount of money (to the coach) or you have no powerful friends who help you to enter an Ivy League university like this. On the other getting in theoretically is possible for everyone. There are countless scholarships, university programs to encourage study etc. Partnership programs between community colleges and universities are very good chance for encouraging these students to make this possible.
Being content with a community college is also an option. Colleges are often considered to be easier than a university, but that is not definitely true. The community college feels like any other college or university, and even if it is shorter and cheaper, it is still not enough short and cheap to be as efficient as it could be. Just think about the total expenses, many other things over the tuition, such as books, food, housing etc. The time to graduate is faster than in universities, it became more difficult and challenging.
In my personal experience getting accepted into a college is awesome. Watching you tube videos about young people opening letters or receiving phone calls from universities is exciting. This is the beginning of a challenging journey, but having the will and focus, the result can be wonderful, and it is worth all the effort put into this journey.
But in case James, he fell on his lucky side (that side which has no butter on). He applied for different universities including Yale and Harvard. He thought it is an impossible dream, but to his surprise, he received a call from the Yale director and was accepted. (91)
During college he went through some situations that he never imagined that a white person could go through. Prejudice. He is being judged for coming from a lower class of the population and from not a wealthy and caring family and his behavior does not integrate well other classmates, who are coming from higher. He had only one friend who had the same background as James, who also came from a working-class family and was the first of his family to go to college. (93)
He felt like an alien in the university. James wondered why there were no more students like him at Yale. I believe that many of these universities, do not give the opportunity for lower middle-class students to think about the possibility of studying there. It involves money, prestige and reputation.
Studying at a school where the majority come from a wealthy family can be a challenge. James speaks about the struggles of adapting at Yale. His tableside manners leave a lot to be desired, but simpler thing, like how to be a part of conversation, is also a problem for him.
Furthermore, you can hardly compete with other students who attended to a private school. Everything is completely different. First, because privileged students must worry only about their studies, while lower middle-class students must worry about a bunch of other things like bring money for their family. This often negatively affects their studies.
I can identify myself with his hardship, but in my case the cultural differences caused these problems. I believe that the university should recognize the personal difficulties that students may have going through and help them in some way. Integrating into a new society requires a lot of effort and determination. But this is the only way to start a new life in a new world.
Most of us attending to college are looking for better life by having a good job. We learned that networking is very important if we lack actual experience or someone in an influential family to help. Most students in Yale have an already settled career path or a comfortable chair at daddy’s company. This was not something given for James, but despite all the problems.
In chapter 14, James describes how family traumas can damage a child’s brain and how they will affect their adult life. Stress can have countless consequences. Studying and living in a hardly functioning family is a challenge. The brain subconsciously tries to find similar people that we are used to in childhood, limiting the possibility to get to know another way of life, better ones than we are used to.
The problems of adjusting our mindset through new environments is a challenge. The education system in Brazil is completely different than the system here. Adapting to a new country, including a new culture, whether in college or in life, is challenging for me. But getting a degree and learning more could grant me a brighter future and that motivates me.
